I had to ride the bus today. On the way home, with my knees propped up on the next seat, I thought, People really to expand their vocabularies to include words that don't start with "f." And then I thought, So why don't you tell them? I've struggled with that question the rest of the day.
It may surprise you amazing blog-readers, but I can't share my heart and tell it like it is. I may seem confident and outspoken here in bloggy land, but my lips can't form the words when I'm face-to-face. I hold it all in and hide it beneath my quiet, nice, good-girl rep. There is so much I want them to know, to understand, but I can't just say it. I contain my feelings and pour them out on paper. I can share it with the whole world on the web, but not with the one person I need to tell.
Why is it so hard? Why can't I let it out, show them the truth? Why can't I say the words running through my head? Why can't I show them what God is telling me? Why do I hide my true self?
I need to make a change.
1 heartfelt responses:
You'll get there girl! When God is ready for you to show them what He's telling you, He'll also give you the strength and courage to do so. Perhaps He's still working only on you and not ready to start on them just yet.
For those of us who tend to speak pretty freely (sometimes, too freely) it didn't come easily or over-night for us either, and when we get ahead of God's leading it can get all sorts of sticky.
Hang in there and hold to your values. Trust in the Lord's guidance to show you not only when to speak up, but how to speak up as well. He won't lead you down the wrong path.
If, however, you get ahead of His timing and purpose, you may just find yourself down the wrong road after all.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. Proverbs 3:5-7
If and when He's ready for you to rebuke them, He'll let you know. This version says to shun, other versions say to turn away from evil... As tempting as it sometimes is, I'm not sure that's calling for you to do anything other than turn away from it.
Based on this verse in Proverbs that's not being timid or hiding it's just simply being discerning of what is evil and being obedient by turning away from it.
Just food for thought...
Jenni
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