I had to ride the bus today. On the way home, with my knees propped up on the next seat, I thought, People really to expand their vocabularies to include words that don't start with "f." And then I thought, So why don't you tell them? I've struggled with that question the rest of the day.
It may surprise you amazing blog-readers, but I can't share my heart and tell it like it is. I may seem confident and outspoken here in bloggy land, but my lips can't form the words when I'm face-to-face. I hold it all in and hide it beneath my quiet, nice, good-girl rep. There is so much I want them to know, to understand, but I can't just say it. I contain my feelings and pour them out on paper. I can share it with the whole world on the web, but not with the one person I need to tell.
Why is it so hard? Why can't I let it out, show them the truth? Why can't I say the words running through my head? Why can't I show them what God is telling me? Why do I hide my true self?
I need to make a change.