yupp. he's real.

   On the search for great literature yesterday, I searched the library for every book under the name C.S. Lewis, and I finally got my hands on The Screwtape Letters. It contains the correspondence of Screwtape, a high-ranking demon, to his young nephew Wormwood. It is hilarious and sobering all at the same time.
   See, Lewis' satire is a reminder of something God iterated over and over in the Bible: the devil is real.
   There are some things that we as Christians like to gloss over. This is one of them. I mean, who wants to talk about someone whose entire existence revolves around ruining - and taking - our lives? Some would consider that inappropriate discussion for the dinner table.
   The reality though, is that we need to discuss the devil and his minions. As Lewis said in the preface to The Screwtape Letters, "There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve in their existence. The other is to believe, and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them. They themselves are equally pleased by both errors."
   Satan was kicked out of Heaven because he imagine himself higher and better than God, and he is still operating under this ridiculous pretense. If you read the list of goals taped to his mirror you'll see the opposites of everything God plans to do. God has plans to give us "a hope and a future." The devil wants to steal everything that might give us joy. Jesus came to give "life... and more abundantly." The devil comes "to steal, and to kill, and to destroy." God loves us unconditionally. Satan hates our guts.
   The devil's main weapon is lies. John 8:44 says, "He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies." He takes the Bible's truth and twists it around. He deceives us by influencing those around us. He toys with our emotions. Anything to steal us away from Father God.
   But here's the thing: he can't. Jesus himself said in John 10:29, "My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand." For any temptation offered us, Jesus promises a way out. He cast out demons, and he gave us authority to do the same. All authority in Heaven and on Earth! He has given everything we need to kick Satan's butt. Just check out Ephesians 6:10-18. The Bible says, "Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." And always remember that there is power in the name of Jesus. Satan has no chance against the power of God that is in you!
   So yes, the devil is real. Yes, he is alive. Yes, he "prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 
   But. He also sucks. And he's a loser. And a coward. So bam.

more scriptures about the devil's poopy-ness:

1 John 3:8

Matt 4:1-11

James 4:7

1 Peter 5:8

John 10:10

the greatness of God and the crappiness of me

   Last Wednesday of going to Moberly with Elaina, Bethany, and my momma for 41 Night, which is a monthly event put on by Café 41 Student Ministries. Remember back in the day when I did a week-long leadership internship and it rocked my world? Yeah. Same people.
   The night was great enough simply because I got to see so many people that I love, and because we played ninja, and because there were so many hug and smiles and laughter, and because they gave us pizza and M&Ms. But on top of it all, Jesus was there. And you never know what Jesus is gonna do.
   We kicked the night off with worship, and about ten minutes in I was overwhelmed by the greatness of God and the crappiness of me. I sat on butt and started crying and yelled at God. "I've messed up so many times! I don't even know how many times." God, being God, just let me ramble. "I always say I'm going to follow you, and then I blow it! I suck, God. How do you still love me??"
   When I finally had to pause for breath, the silence was overwhelming. And then God hit me with His four-word comeback. "I can handle you," He said.
   And that shut me up.
   Because if Jesus says He can handle me, then He can handle me. And if He can handle me, then He can handle all of me, all of the time. And if He can handle all of me, all of the time, then I don't have to worry. I don't have to stress.
   Honestly, God is so impressive. Because honestly, most people cannot handle me. Maybe for a minute, but then they don't know what to do and they have to take a break and then either they give up or we awkwardly try again. But God is not like that. He's so constant. I don't have to try to make Him like me. He already does. In fact, He already did. And He already will.
  So yeah, my crappiness is pretty impressive. But God's greatness wins every time.

show them

   It's so easy for us to spout a "Jesus loves you!" and move on like we've done something. We think we've fulfilled our Christian duty for the day, and we feel good about ourselves. I mean, there's nothing wrong with speaking the truth. It is highly encouraged, even. But it's not enough
   The reality is, it doesn't matter what we say to people. They want proof. They're saying, "Oh, Jesus loves me? Show me."
   So what do we do? We turn around and pray. We ask God to show them His love, or to send someone who can do so. But here's the thing: we can do so. Me, you, us. We don't have to sit and hope a preacher or a missionary or an expert shows up. We have experienced the love of Christ! We have met God! We have been filled with the Holy Spirit! Isn't it our job God to show people God's love? Our responsibility? Our heart's deepest desire?
   I dunno. I just remember reading somewhere that we are the body of Christ. That we are to love like He loved us. That our sole purpose is to show forth His glory. And I know that it's not enough for us to talk about it. We have to live it.
   People need more. They need real and they need raw. So don't be afraid. Hang out with the outcasts, the sinners, the least of these, whether they realize they are or not. Talk about the struggles. Talk about the dirty stuff. Talk about the truth. Accept people. Meet them where they are. Love like Jesus.
   Next time you tell them God love them, they might believe it.
  

waiting for Jesus

   Paul wrote in Philippians about how he was torn between living and going on to be with Christ. "To live is Christ and to die is gain." I feel like I understand that more and more all the time.
   It's never that I want to die, and it's never that I hate my life. Mostly it's a simple, burning, desperate desire for Jesus to come back. It's just that I know seeing Him face-to-face will be better than anything else ever. I know that nothing I could even hope for in this life could compare to spending eternity with Him.
   I think some people are scared of eternity. Scared of Heaven even. I mean, I guess forever is kind of a long time when you think about it.
   I don't actually know that much about Heaven. I basically know that God is there. And I get to hang out with Him. And there is constant, incessant, 24/7 music. Everyone praises God. All the time. Oh! And there's gonna be a huge wedding feast when we all get there. I'm pretty pumped about that.
   Anyway. I don't know about you, but Heaven sounds way simpler and so much better than living here. I am forever grateful to Jesus for giving me something so overwhelmingly wondrous to look forward to. Something that can never be taken away.
   Come quickly, Jesus!

 

"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body."

~Philippians 1:20-24

not about me

   The nice thing about God is that He never changes. I get so gosh-dang tired of confusion and drama and always growing older every minute every second of every day. And then there's God. Always there. Right next to me. Strong and steady. Never changing. Never moving.
   About five days before I moved this summer, we went to a youth night at my church. There was mud and pizza and I actually have scars from that night and our team won, but more importantly God spoke profoundly to me during worship. In fact, here's the video of the exact song when He nailed me in the face with truth. I'm the girl in the front with the blue t-shirt and the heart overwhelmed.
   I was moving away from that church and those people and that place, and I was scared and I was confused. I was in the middle of reminding God of all the things He had done for me and through me there. He had given me true friends, we had started the Jesus Parties, people had been saved. I truly was excited to move to a new place with new people and new opportunities, but during this song, I finally admitted that I was scared.
   I was scared that I wouldn't be able to do the things I had done in Lewis County. Scared I wouldn't be able to make friends. Scared I would disappoint Him.
   Finally God interrupted my tirade to remind me that it is not about me. And it never has been. He said, "Well, truth is, you won't be able to do any of those things. Never. Not without me." But with God, I can.
   See, I moved to a different place. There's a different culture, different people, different a lot of things. But God is still my God. And he's the same God he was in all the nine other places I've lived. He's still strong, good, merciful, all-powerful, loving, and holy. With Him, I can do anything. And I am. And I will.

my God

   God is more than just my God. I mean, He obviously is my God. He is my omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient God. He is Lord of creation, Ruler of the universe. But His identity, the essence of who He is goes far beyond this.

   God is my savior. He gave everything for me. When it comes to me, He holds nothing back. To Him, I am worth it all. I owe Him my life, all that I am. He rescued me from the deep, dark depths of depression. He took away all fear of death and gave me hope. He saved me.

   God is my father. He is my Heavenly daddy,  and He is the best dad anyone could ever ask for (obviously). He is always providing for me, always watching out for me. He loves to teach me new things, and I love it when He shows me the world in ways I've never seen it.

   God is my friend. He puts up with my crap, listens to my rants, gives the best advice even when He knows I won't listen, and holds me when I cry. I can always depend on Him. He loves to spend time with me. He's got my back. He always finds a way to make me smile. We're pretty much besties.

   God is my bridegroom. He loves me for who I am, and in spite of who I am. He is the best thing that's ever happened to me. He calls me "Beloved." He delights in me. I am forever longing for the day when we'll see each other face to face, when we'll be together forever.

   God is my teacher, my comforter, the only thing that keeps me going. He is everlasting, holy, beyond description. He's everything I ever needed. He is my God. 

Jesus is better

   I gotta tell you something.
   Jesus is better.
   Better than anything, and better than anyone. Better than your wildest dreams. Absolutely, altogether, hands-down the best.
   And you'd think I should get that by now. But every time I think I understand, I don't. Every time I think I've seem the extent of God's goodness, He says, "Hey. Let me show you even more. Something even better. More of who I am. More of why you need me. Let me blow your mind."
   And every time something good shows up in my life, I have to turn to God and say, "You're still better." Because He is.
   I mean, think about it. He's the one who gave the thing to me. The Creator and Lord of the universe knows my needs and my desires. And He cares about what I care about. And my joy brings Him joy. And He is the giver of every good and perfect gift.
   And He is good. God is so good.

obsessed? addicted? infatuated?

   I've been finding myself falling more in love with Jesus.
   There's a verse that says, "Taste and see that the Lord is good." You know that verse? Well, I keep tasting. And I keep seeing that He is good. So I keep tasting. And I keep seeing more of how good He is. So I keep tasting..
   You know that other verse? The one that says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Well, I thought it'd be really cool to get the desires of my heart, so I determined to delight myself in the Lord. And the more I delight in Him, the more He becomes the desire of my heart. And the more I desire Him, the more I delight in Him..
   It's crazy. Every time I get to know Him better, or spend time with Him, or serve Him, or read His Word, or worship, the more I want to do those things. It's like an addiction than a hunger, because it's never satisfied. I just want more, more, more of God. He's just so good! I cannot get over Him.
   I've been finding myself reading the Bible more than any other book. I've been finding myself praying in tongues at the most ridiculous times. I've been finding myself watching preaching and teaching videos. I've been finding myself overwhelmed by His goodness and greatness every time I look at the sky. I've been finding myself leaving other conversations to go talk to God. I've been finding myself constantly worshiping.
   I've been finding myself falling more in love.

Yes. I googled pictures of the sky. You're welcome.

faith means

   Faith does not mean I know what's gonna happen. It just means I know the One who does know. It means I know that He is good, that He has a plan for me, and that His plan is better than anything I could ever come up with.

   Faith doesn't mean there won't be struggles. It means that when struggles come, the joy of the Lord will be my strength. It means He will never put more on me than I can bear, and that He will work all things together for my good.

   Honestly, this situation sucks. It's hard. I don't know what to do, and I don't know what's gonna happen, and I hate not knowing things. But I have faith in the One who knows all things. I know that in my weakness God is strong. I know that His perfect love casts out all fear, and that He will glorified in this.

   Faith doesn't mean it's not hard. It just means I don't have to be afraid.

Jeremiah 29:11

Nehemiah 8:10

1 Corinthians 10:13

Romans 8:28

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

1 John 4:18

Was Jesus For Real?

            I just want to know if Jesus was being serious. I mean, sure, we all believe the parts that say that He came to save the world, not to condemn it, that His yoke is easy and His burden is light, that nothing can separate us from His love. What about the rest of it?

            We as the church embrace the parts of the gospel that we like and plaster them on our signs, posters, wristbands, t-shirts, and memory verse cards, and we ditch the rest. We take to heart the parts that save us and ignore the parts that convict us. Is it really OK for us to pick and choose? Are we really worshipping Jesus, or some idol of our own creation that vaguely resembles Him?

            What if Jesus visited our churches? Just imagine. Would He be impressed by the really cool worship band, or the conferences and classes and programs, or the brand-spanking-new building, or the number of people in the sanctuary? I don’t think so. I think He would be appalled. I think He would be appalled at our selfishness, our focus on material things, and our lack of love.

            You see, the same Jesus who calls us to come to Him said, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, follow me.” The same Jesus who was moved with compassion commanded us to love our neighbor as ourselves. The same Jesus who went to prepare a place for us had no place to lay His head. He said, “If you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Have we broadened the straight and narrow? He told us to turn the other cheek, to love our enemies and bless those who curse us. We are commanded to take care of orphans and widows. He said, “If any man take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.”

            Was Jesus being serious?

            We are supposed to be like a Man who never did anything wrong, yet was hated; who was a King, yet came to serve. We are supposed to love like He loved. We are supposed to live like a Man who died.

            So I just want to know: What if we took that seriously?

A Fearless Weekend

   So I went to Texas this last weekend. I know, I know, I never tell you anything. Well, I'm telling you now.
   Pastor Jason took me, five girls who come to my Jesus Parties, 13 kids from Cafe 41, and Miss Christie down to Eastland in a school bus for Fearless Weekend. We spent more time on the road than we did there. It was totally worth it. Here are 10 things I want to remember:

1. Everyone's names. Probably not gonna happen, but I'm trying. I got to meet so many people! People are my favorite. (:
2. Praying for Anne in Wal-Mart. We got to Eastland 3 hours early, so we decided to go bless some people. At Holy Spirit's prompting, I talked to an older lady in the canned goods aisle. Then I prayed blessings over her and her family, and asked God to multiply her wisdom. When I looked up, she was crying. Let's just say I teared up a bit. It was awesome.
3. The fact that it was 80 degrees and I got to go barefoot.
4. Epic games of Ninja. They started with a few kids from Missouri, and by the end of everything we probably had 20 kids in the circle.
5. The wise words of Zach Gryder, Chase Hall, and Jason Neustater. "When you are closer to Jesus, you are more fearless." "Love demands action." "Obedience is a result of love, not a means of earning it." "If you fear man, man will control you. If you fear God, God will lead you." "Being fearless is not always fun." "What matters to you matters to God." "Demons tremble because of my identity inscription, not my job description." "Nothing on this planet is worthy of our fear."
6. The skill it took to take pictures like the ones at the bottom of this post.
7. This was the first time I didn't use my own pen and notebook. Provided!
8. Being cleansed with fire.
9. Fearless = lacking fear = me.
10. Basically everything.

No Room For Words

   All of a sudden, I have a stronger desire - a need - to write. So much is happening. Inside of me, and around me, and through me. Explosions of color, living water, holy fire, brand new life. God is rocking my world over and over and over and over again.
   It's awesome. I want to remember it, put it into words, share it with the world. I want to write about it.
   All of a sudden, it's so much harder to write.
   Words are hard to come by here. This place, this intimacy with Jesus, is far beyond description. It is so chock-full of emotion, and purity, and revelation, and God that I can't seem to find any room for words.
   But I will try.

Learning What Persecution Is

          Some of us don’t even know what persecution is. We’ve gone through our nice, little, churchy lives, loving what Jesus did for us, but never doing anything radical for Him. It’s like we thought going to church was enough, reading our Bibles was enough, trying to be a nice person was enough. It’s like we were asleep.

          But now we’re awake. The delusion is shattered. All of a sudden, we are more in love with Jesus than we thought possible, willing to do anything for Him, so excited about God that we assume everyone else will be, too.

          But they won’t. Beloved, the world is still sleeping. They don’t want us making a bunch of noise, trying to wake them up. They’re comfortable, and our passion will make them uncomfortable.

          They will be mad at us when our Jesus talk rouses them. They will tell us to shut up, they will throw things at us, they will cuss us out, they will call the authorities. They will hate us like they hated Him.

          Don’t be surprised. We have to be prepared for our friends to leaves, to lose some of our popularity, to be denied opportunities, to be ridiculed and excluded and shunned. We must be willing to be treated like Jesus was treated. And still we must love like Jesus loved.

“But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.”

-Matthew 5:44

“And they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name. And daily in the temple, and in every house, they ceased not to teach and preach Jesus Christ.”

-Acts 5:41-42

“Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in Heaven.”

-Luke 6:22-23

This Is Not a Fairy Tale

            God has shown you His love and told you He how feels about you.  You’ve learned that He loves and accepts you.  You’ve been told He desires you, that He delights in you.  You’ve had an awesome experience, an emotional rush, but you don’t think it can last.

            You feel like you’re living once upon a time in a land far, far away, like you’re stuck inside a storybook.  There is no way it’s real.  After all, nothing this good has ever happened to you before.  It has to be too good to be true.

            Right?

            Wrong, beloved.  This is not a fairy tale.  This is God.  He never changes, never gives up, never leaves.  He loved you yesterday, He loves you today, He will love you tomorrow.  He loves you when you’re laughing, when you’re crying, and when you’re overwhelmed.  He loves you when you don’t even care.

            He created you.  He calls you Hephzibah, because He delights in you.  Your smiles make Him smile.

            He wants nothing more than to spend time with you.  He has so much more to show you, to tell you, if only you will listen.  Just sit at His feet.  Just be with Him. 

            He has infinite love.  He will never. ever. run out.  He is so excited to spend eternity with you!

            He died for you.  Did you catch that?  Jesus, king of kings, creator of the universe, God, thinks you are to die for.  There is no greater love.  He loves you.

            This is real. Beloved, this is not a fairy tale. This is God.

Luminosity, Beam, Radiance

   Have you ever noticed how powerful light is? It scares away the darkness every time. No matter how hard it tries, darkness can never put out light. In fact, the deeper the darkness, the brighter the light shines.

   Light is attractive. Darkness is described as oppressive, creepy, and depressing, but light is comforting and happy. It lights up the places you want to be. People are drawn to light.

   Lighthouses show where home is; they keep people safe. When you get home late at night and the lights are still on, you know someone’s waiting up for you. People look for light when they’re lost. Light means safety, fellowship, home.

   Light wakes you up in the morning. It brings you to life, dancing through the shadows and signaling the new beginning of every day. It eliminates the night, when secrets are made, crimes are committed, and evil thinks it can hide.

   Light is powerful, attractive, comforting, and enlivening. It illuminates the truth. It eliminates the darkness.

   Be the light.

 

 

Matthew 5:14-16

God loves you.

God is never going to love you more than He does right now.

So stop trying to make Him.

            Beloved, He loved you before your parents even thought about you – before your parents even thought about each other. He loved you while you were in your mother’s womb. He loved you while He planned every little, wonderful detail of you. He loved when you first came into this world, wide-eyed and clueless.

He loved you the first time you lied. He loved you when you were disrespectful to your parents. He loved you when you learned what jealousy was. He loved you when you gave yourself away. He loved you when sin blackened your heart. He loved you while you hated Him.

His love for you was beyond measure in the beginning, when He created you. Guess what, my dear? It never changed. It never will.

So stop. Stop trying to make up for your existence. Stop trying to fake perfection. Stop trying to be good enough to love.

He planned you. He wants you. He knew you couldn’t achieve righteousness, so He gave you His. He desires you. He says you are beautiful. He loves you.

And He’ll never stop.

Glory

Me: God, I wanna see You! I wanna see Your glory! I wanna see Your glory.

God: You’re gonna have to get rid of some of your glory to make room for mine.

Me: *cry*

God: Even when you’re doing something for Me, you’re doing it to glorify yourself. You want people to look at you and be amazed by how good of a Christian you are, by how much you love Me. I want people to look at you and see Me.

Me: *cry*

Song: Your love never fails, it never runs out, it never gives up on me..

Me: God, I wanna love people like you love them. I want my love to be like Yours!

God: No. You just want more of my love.

 

I don’t need a better Michaela.  I just need a perfect God.

Be Like Jesus

   You say you want your heart to break for what breaks His.  Could you handle that pain, that constant ache?  He cries for the ones who disgust you, the ones you walk by on the other side of the street.  He longs for the ones you don’t think are worth your time, the ones you reject.  His heart breaks for every abandoned girl, every aborted baby, every lonely heart.
   You say you wanna be like Jesus.  Are you sure?  He hung out with sinners: liars, thieves, prostitutes, hypocrites.  He loved the ones everyone else hated.
   The lepers thought He would keep His distance.  He healed them with a single touch.  The religious leaders thought He would appreciate their “righteousness.”  He appreciated the ones who knew they didn’t deserve His attention. 
    He smashed expectations to bits.  He pieced broken hearts back together.  He was loved by a few, hated by many.  His own town, the people He grew up with, rejected Him.  His parents didn’t understand Him.  The very crowd who cried, “Hosanna” shouted, “Crucify Him!”
     You say you wanna live like Jesus.  Do you realize He died?

On Earth

   It is my dream to see Heaven on Earth.  I wanna see people clothed in white robes of righteousness and purity.  I wanna hear "holy, holy, holy," constant praise and worhsip.  I wanna feel the ground shake when voices join to sound like rushing water.
   I wanna begin eternal worship before I get to eternity.  I want the atmosphere down here to match the atmosphere up there.  I wanna bring down the glory!
   This is my heart's desire:
ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN

Forgiven

   The words of Luke 7:36-50 tell one of the most beautiful stories I have ever read.
   I can see it now.  All these men gathered around the Pharisee's table, enjoying a nice, calm, normal meal.  They're probably discussing politics, religion, or maybe something tamer, like the weather.  The disciples are relieved Jesus hasn't done anything weird or radical for once. 
   Out in the city, the atmosphere is a little different.  As soon as Mary Magdalene hears the rumor that Jesus is at the Pharisee's house, she knows she has to go.  She runs to the place where she hid the alabaster box and books it to where Jesus is.
   Standing outside the door, Mary tries to still her beating heart.  She knows she has to risk everything to gain it all.  Suddenly nothing matters except for Jesus, and she goes after Him with her whole heart.
   The room suddenly goes still when Mary walks in.  Her reputation as a "sinner" is known far and wide.  They see her alabaster box full of perfume, and they know how someone like her got the money for something so expensive.  Every man at the table is judging her, looking down on her from the pedestals they've placed tehmselves upon. 
   Every man, that is, except for Jesus.  He turns to face Mary Magdalene, His eyes full of love, but can't bring herself to look at His face.  She looks at no one, staring at the Savior's feet, focused on the task at hand.  All of a sudden she is bawling her eyes out, her tears splashing onto His feet, washing away the dirt and grime.  She wipes Jesus' feet with her hair, kisses them all over, and annoints them with every drop of the sweet smelling perfume.
   The Pharisee who had invited Jesus is thinking to hinself, If He were a prophet He would know what kind of woman is touching Him, and if He knew what kind of woman she was, there is no way He'd let her touch Him.  Our Lord knew his thoughts, and, not even acknowledging him, turned to Simon, saying, "Do you see this woman?  I entered into your house, you gave me no water for my feet, but she has washed my feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head.  You gave me no kiss, but this woman has not stopped kissing my feet since she came in.  You did not annoint my head with oil, but this woman has annointed my feet with ointment.  Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much, but to whom little is forgiven, the same love little."  Let me tell you, nothing hurts worse than being humbled/knocked off your pedestal/burned by Jesus.  Instead of looking down on Mary, now every person in the room knows that she has something they lack.
   It is in this moment that Mary Magdalene finally dares to look up.  She locks eyes with Jesus, and she knows she will never, ever look away.  She has poured everything of value upon the feet of Jesus - the perfume, her love, her old life, her identity, her whole self.  Everything is His.
   And He says unto the woman, "Thy sins are forgiven. Thy faith has saved thee; go in peace."
   Forgiven.