Sunday, January 20, 2013

Black and White

   It's not all black and white.  Everyone has a different opinion about everything.  Certain actions seem wrong in some situations, but right in others.  We can have too much of a good thing.  We get confused.  We have to weigh our options, consider every point of view.  We're convinced we are right - until we are proved wrong.  God doesn't always give straight answers.
   If it was all black and white, we would have everything laid out in front of us.  We would always know what to do, what to say, what to think.  If everything was clear-cut, making decisions would be a piece of cake.  We wouldn't hurt the people we love the most, we wouldn't have our hearts broken.  All the answers would be obvious.  Truth would always be truth, and we would know it.
   If it was all black and white, God wouldn't have given us free will.  There would be no thrill in debate, no reason to stand apart.  Love stories wouldn't cause our hearts to flutter and our eyes to leak.  The beauty of creation would flee, and life would cease to be worth the living.
   So take in all the color - the royal purples, the vibrant greens, the cheerful yellows.  Get up early to watch a pink and red sunrise.  Let a flare of red, righteous indignation rise within you.  Look deep into the blue eyes of a baby.  Reveal the deepest pink of your love.  Embrace the shades of gray.  When everyone else settles for black and white, be fuschia, burnt orange, or purple mountain majesty.
   There are greater things than black and white.


Saturday, January 12, 2013

How Dare You

How dare you?
How dare I what, God?  Have I done something wrong?  I've been trying so hard to be perfect.
That's it, Daughter.  Stop.  Stop trying so hard.
What do You mean?  All my hard work, all the things I've done for You, everything... that's not enough?  What more could You want?
You.  I don't need your acheivements, your striving, your perfection. I just want you.
But, God... Are You sure?
Have I ever been wrong?
Well, no, not that I know of.  But what happens if I give that up?  I'll have nothing left.  I'll be nothing.
You will be you.  And you will have Me.  You are nothing on your own anyway.  What I did on the cross was enough.  How dare you think you could do more?
You're right, God.  As usual. But it's just so hard!  I feel like I'm falling apart.
You are falling apart, Beloved.  But I am putting you back together.
Watch this video.
"So you thought you had to keep this up
All the work that you do so we think that you're good
And you can't believe it's not enough..."

Friday, January 4, 2013

onething 2012

Every new year IHOP (the International House of Prayer in Kansas City) puts on a huge conference for young people.  This was my first time, and these are my journal entries from every night this weekend.
December 28, 2012
   onething.  The tallest escalators, the costliest food, and the most Christ-followers I have ever seen in one place.  The best worship leaders, the most engaging (and engaged) speakers, and the friendliest strangers.
   I do wish my youth group could have come, but I am so thankful for the opportunity to be here with my grandma.  Already I have learned about prophesy and worship working together, re-given God preeminence over all my other dreams, and prayed with almost a dozen of God's daughters.  It is crazy to think that there are over 20,000 people here from all over America and the world, all united on simple factor - our love for Christ.
   Out of all this, my favorite encounter of the day happened before the conference even started.  We joined an almost full table for lunch, and met a Canadian with his wife and their good friend.  Grandma shared about her ministry teaching kids to hear God's voice, and then he spoke into my life.  "You will hear God while you're here," he declared, "He will tell you to do something that seems crazy.  You will think it's for the future, but it's not.  It's for right now.  And those in authority over you will not stand in your way.  They will agree with you and with God."
   God has already told me to spend a week telling my school about abortion, but I didn't know when, or how, or if my principle would allow it.  Now He has made Himself clear.  I thank God for confirmation.  He has also birthed ideas in me, today, for starting a teen worship team at my church.  I thank Him for vision and passion.  I thank Him for caring so much about me as to speak directly to my heart.  I am so excited for the rest of this weekend.
   I love You, Jesus!
December 29, 2012
   I have prayed for an army of strong young men to rise up.  I have prayed for them to be vulnerable among the people of God, to abandon all for love, to worship without reservation, to hear God's voice and to follow His word, and to lead our generation to revelation and revival.  I am seeing these young men rise up here in Kansas City, right here at onething 2012.
   God is pouring out His Spirit in these last days, and we see and feel and hear and know more of him than ever before.  He is giving us, His sons and daughters, dreams and visions, prophecy, and a new song.  We are a new generation, different from any before us.  We are a generation consumed by the fire of God. 
   With love, we will change our schools, communities, states, and nation.  With Jesus, we will change the world.
December 30, 2012
   The house of the Lord is full of so much joy.  The Spirit of the Most High dwells within us, and He gives us peace and happiness beyond description.  The overwhelming fact that the God of the universe loves us brings huge grins to our faces.  Wedance, and laugh, and sing, and shout.  Our rejoicing cannot be contained.
  We at onething have one desire, one thing that we would ask of God, and that is to see His face, We are hungry and thirsty for Him, desperate to know Him better.  Father reveals more of Himself every day, but we never run out of God.  There will always be more.  More revelation, more to seek and to find, more to discover.  There will always be more love.
   And so we look to Him.  We pray our hearts out, and we sing with all the power that is in our lungs.  We delve into His Word with renewed fervor.  We love God and love people.  We hasten the day of our Lord.
   And the Spirit and the Bride say come. -Revelation 22:17
January 1, 2013
1:00 AM
   Is there any better way to ring the new year than with praises to the King of kings?  I think not!  I fell blessed beyond measure to have begun 2013 beside thousands of other believers, with arms raised in victory and praise and the biggest smile on my face.
   I can honestly say that I have never looked forward to a year as much as I am this one.  God is doing a new thing in my life, in my generation, and in the world.
   I am now committed to starting a prayer and worship movement back home, and I believe it will create community and love between the followers of Christ.  Not just one church, not just one town.  Wemust learn to work together.  We must be united by our common passion for God.  Only with Holy Spirit's help is this possible.
   Thank You, God, for your commitment to your people.  Praise You, God, for freedom and love.  Thank You, God, for new beginnings.

Everything was streaming live on

You should totally go. :)

This place us huuuuuge.

Our friend Jeremy led a set in the prayer room downstairs.  We interceded in Spanish and English for the Hispanic nations.

I adooore this song.

Mike Bickle, founder and leader of IHOP, preaching the Word.

Essential materials. ;)

The lights in this place were mind-blowing.  Not to mention the sound system - you know it's loud when you can feel the bass vibrating in your bones.

Choir. :)

Violinist. :)
One thing I ask from the Lord,
this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
and to seek him in his temple.
-Psalm 27:4

Tuesday, January 1, 2013


  2012 has come and gone, and I stand looking towards the coming year with an open heart.  2013 will be full of...

  • savoring the little things
  • smiles.. because smiling's my favorite :)
  • driving home from (and reliving) onething
  • new family members (we got some babies comin!)
  • prayer and worship
  • tromping through snow and running through sprinklers
  • taking my permit and driver's liscense tests
  • sharing the truth about abortion
  • family time - at home + abroadish
  • laughing 'til I have a six pack
  • a deeper relationship with Jesus
  • learning more of my identity
  • volunteering - with kids + horses
  • writing and reading and writing
  • music - old favorites + new obsessions
  • beginnings